Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
