paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
