Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
