just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
