Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
