why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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