Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
