Your face is a jimmy john
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
