so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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