McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize