Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
