took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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