And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I understand Curling. That high.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
