My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
