You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
