Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize