She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
