Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
