Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
