She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
