Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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