omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
