i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
