is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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