his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
