I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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