bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
