Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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