Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My life is pants optional.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
