??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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