a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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