i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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