if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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