When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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