Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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