i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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