There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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