I think I died a long time ago.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
