Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
