omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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