Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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