i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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