Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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