dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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