I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
