im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
