He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
