the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
