Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
