just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
