chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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