We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
