weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
