She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
