Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
