i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
