Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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