You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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