hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
