whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
